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jacksonism
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Name: Stephen
Interests: www.independentclauses.com
www.purevolume.com/tragiclandscape
www.purevolume.com/jacksonism
Expertise: I write with a passion.
Occupation: Artist
Industry: Media
Message: message me
Member Since:
6/1/2005
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| It seems to be a tradition.....post in January, then ignore for the rest of the year.
I am thrilled about this upcoming year. It's going to be uncomfortable,
as I am throwing myself into situations I've never been in before, but
I am not afraid. I'm sure I will learn a lot spiritually, but I asked
for that, ask for that, and will continue to ask for that. In fact,
it's gotten to the point where the only truly uncomfortable place in my
spiritual life is being comfortable and not learning anything
spiritually. I want to become more like Jesus.
I'm sure I'm going to make mistakes, as well. In my quest to become a
real person who can stand on his own two feet, I'm going to make money
errors, people errors, job errors, and more. I will apologize, clean up
the mess, learn from it and continue on. Someday I may learn how much
the little things I do affect people. Maybe it's less than I think.
Maybe it's more than I think. Maybe it depends on the person. I don't
know for sure.
I will grow closer to some things/people and farther away from others.
It's a fact of life, and it is painful, and I don't want to do it. But
you can't keep people in your life for longer than their allotted
season. I have tried - it has not gone well.
I'm not perfect. I'm never going to be. I have to accept that. But I
know some people that accept that. I have to get out of the mindset
that I'm constantly in a battle to keep people from seeing my bad side
or they'll divorce me. I want to always be my best, but the fear of
losing people needs to diminish. It is a hard fear to banish....it cuts
to the very heart of who I am and who I was created to be. How do you
do your best for people when the right thing is something that hurts
them? Something that you don't want to do? Something that doesn't seem
like love? It is a hard thing.
But there are bright spots. Katie is a wonderful influence in my life -
patient, caring, wonderful to me. I have no idea why God allowed such a
wonderful gift to me, but he has, and I thank him every day for our
friendship (relationship! I can say the word relationship!! yes!!!). I
repay my thanks in the only way I know how - being as wonderful to her
as she is to me. It is a very peaceful, stable, exciting, fun, and
awesome relationship.
I just have to not worry about it. I have a tendency to worry. But I'll
get there....someday. After all, not worrying is a command. As I am a
follower of Christ, I take these commands very seriously:
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication
with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace
of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and
your minds in Christ Jesus." Phillipians 4:6-7
Onward, 2007. God and I got some work to do. And by the grace of God, I
get to go through it with people I love and trust and care about.
Amazing.
| | |
| ..it's 7:30 on a Saturday. Yay for having a job.
[] I am shorter than 5'4.
[*] I think I'm ugly sometimes.
[] I have many scars.
[] I tan easily.
[ ] I wish my hair was a different color.
[ ]I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[ ] I have a tattoo.
[*] I am self-conscious about my appearance. (I don't think you're real if you don't check this one)
[*] I've had braces.
[ ] I wear glasses/contacts
[ ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100 safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[* ] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[ ] I have had more than 2 piercings.
[ ] I have had piercings in places besides my ears.
[ ] I have freckles.
Family/Home Life
[] I've sworn at my parents.
[ ] I've run away from home.
[ ] I've been kicked out of the house.
[*] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[*] I want to have kids someday.
[ ] I've had children.
[ ] I've lost a child.
Health
[ ] I was born with a disease/impairment.
[ ] I've gotten stitches.
[ ] I've broken a bone.
[ ] I've had my tonsils removed.
[ ] I've sat in a doctors office with a friend.
[*] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[ ] I had a serious surgery
[*] I've had chicken pox.
Experiences
[*] I've gotten lost in my city.
[*] I've seen a shooting star.
[*] I've wished on a shooting star.
[*] I've seen a meteor shower.
[*] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
[*] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[* ] I've kicked a guy where it hurts. (on accident, but I have)
[ ] I've been to a casino.
[ ] I've been skydiving.
[ ] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[] I've crashed a car.
[*] I've been Skiing
[*] I've been in a play.
[*] I've met someone in person from the internet. (this won't bold for some reason)
[*] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I've seen the Northern Lights.
[*] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[*] I've played chicken.
[*] I've played a prank on someone.
[* ] I've ridden in a taxi.
[* ] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[*] I've eaten Sushi.
[] I've been snowboarding.
Relationships
[*] I'm single
[ ] I'm in a relationship.
[ ] I'm engaged.
[ ] I'm married. (ha ha, just kidding.)
[ ] I've gone on a blind date.
[*] I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.
[*] I miss someone right now (but not Karli).
[*] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I've cheated in a relationship.
[ ] I've gotten divorced
[*] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[*] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[*] I've kept something from a past relationship.
Sexuality
[ ] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex
[*] I've had a crush on a teacher. (yeah 8th grade!)
[*] I am a cuddler.
[*] I've been kissed in the rain.
[*] I've hugged a stranger. (yeah good football games)
[ ] I have kissed a stranger.
Honesty/Crime
[ ] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't
[*] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[ ] I've snuck out of my house.
[ ] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[ ] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[*] I've cheated while playing a game.
[ ] I've cheated on a test.
[*] I've run a red light. (so didn't mean to)
[ ] I've been suspended from school.
[*] I've witnessed a crime. (riots are a crime)
[ ] I've been in a fist fight.
[ ] I've been arrested.
[ ] I've shoplifted.
Drugs/Alcohol
[* ] I've consumed alcohol. (never again)
[ ] I regularly drink.
[ ] I've passed out from drinking.
[ ] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
[ ] I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
[ ] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[ ] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
[ ] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression at some point in my life
[ ] I shut others out when I'm depressed. (exactly the opposite...)
[ ] I take anti-depressants.
[ ] I'm anorexic or bulimic.
[*] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it. (depends on what 'need' is, actually)
[ ] I've hurt myself on purpose.
[ ] I'm addicted to self harm.
[* ] I've woken up crying.
Death and Suicide
[ ] I'm afraid of dying.
[*] I hate funerals.
[ ] I've seen someone dying.
[] Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
[ ] Someone close to me has committed suicide.
[ ] I've planned my own suicide.
[ ] I've attempted suicide.
[ ] I've written a eulogy for myself.
Random
[*] I can sing well. (I like my voice).
[ ] I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[*] I open up to others easily.
[ ] I watch the news.
[ ] I don't kill bugs.
[*] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
[] I curse regularly.
[*] I sing in the shower.
[*] I am a morning person.
[ ] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
[*] I'm a snob about grammar.
[ ] I am a sports fanatic.
[*] I twirl my hair (sort of)
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name
[*] I love being neat
[ ] I love Spam.
[] I've copied more than 20 CD's in a day
[*] I bake well. (just throw me in the oven at 400! ...just kidding folks, just kidding).
[ ] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue. (green)
[*] I would wear pajamas to school.
[ ] I like Martha Stewart.
[*] I know how to shoot a gun.
[*] I am in love. (with life)
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[*] I laugh at my own jokes.
[*] I eat fast food weekly.
[*] I believe in ghosts.
[ ] I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
[*] I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class. (AP Photography...heck yes...)
[] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[*] I am really ticklish.
[*] I love white chocolate
[*] I bite my nails.
[ *] I play video games.
[ *] I'm good at remembering faces.
[] I'm good at remembering names
[*] I'm good at remembering dates.
[ ] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
[*] My answers are totally honest
but see,
there's one question that says you're keeping a secret from the world.
If, by chance, that question shows up on this questionnaire, then you
can't really check the yes box on this one. But you probably will
anyway, so that people don't go back through and scrutinize every
question looking for 'it'.
interesting. i don't have a secret though, so I can check yes..
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| Brent did it. So will I.
2005.
TEN memorable things you did
01. I recorded a full length album with TL.
02. I turned IndependentClauses.com into a respectable magazine.
03. I got National Merit Semifinalist
04. I got hired as a counselor for NLR
05. I decided on a college
06. I got Senioritis really, really bad.
07. I went to Mexico.
08. I became editor-in-chief of the Voice.
09. I gained friends.
10. I lost friends
NINE places you went
01. Pittsburg, KS
02. Norman, Oklahoma
03. Stillwater, Oklahoma
04. Colcord, Oklahoma
05. Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
06. Tulsa, Oklahoma
07. Puebla, Puebla, Mexico
08. Dallas, TX
09. Broken Arrow, Oklahoma
EIGHT people you want to thank (I love everybody)
01. Brent. No
one has been there longer. No one has been there better. I'm pretty
much indebted to you for life, which is good, because that means we'll
have to stick together for pretty much that long.
02. Karli. So,
we're not dating. We both learned a heck of a lot about dating, and a
lot about being friends. We're still best friends. You won't ever read
this cause you hate computers, so it really doesn't matter. But you're
really important to me anyway.
03. Shinae. So we don't get to talk that much. But every major
decision, every turning point I've had since the tenth grade has gone
through you. And you've made me smarter and tougher and more aware that
I'm important. You're irreplaceable in my mind- one of those people who
just sticks with you and sticks with you and sticks with you.
04. Jonathan. My ace in the hole, you're always there to include me no
matter what. We don't even hang out that often but you'll jump through
hoops for me (and you often do). I have no idea what I've done to
deserve such an awesome friend.
05. Chad. Just like Jonathon, you jump to include me, and
you laugh with me, and have fun. My family loves you, and they want you
to come over all the time. It takes a really great guy to have my
family want them over, and you're that great guy. Government has been
great, lol.
06. Roger. So basically we've got to know each other this year. And
while we still think that the other one is an idiot some of the time,
it's been a heck of a lot of fun and it's shown me that there is still
hope for the male race. You're an awesome guy....you're fun and loyal
and that's a great combination.
07. Kyle - Kyle, Brent's right.
You're awesome and you know it but you never flaunt it. You're fun and
funny and wild and crazy and an awesome arranger and you're just the
best. I am glad we added you to the band....you make it all awesome.
08.
Annie and Alyssa- we lost touch with each other but I would really like
to get back in touch. We hung out over break and it was very good. We
need to continue this trend.
SEVEN things you regret doing
01. Hurting people.
02. Doing this instead of work.
03. Letting relationships get lost.
04. Not getting close to my brothers until now.
05. Being socially nervous.
06. Talking on half-truths like I know the truth.
07. Biting my fingernails.
SIX phrases you over used
01. definitely.
02. whatev (I hate it when I say that)
03. mmhmm
04. wait, what?
05. I apologize greatly.
06. literally.
FIVE favorite songs
01. Fishing the Sky - Appleseed Cast
02. Hallelujah - Rufus Wainwright
03. Amplify - Roper
04. Definitely Maybe - FM Static
05. Hermosa - New Society
FOUR changes
01. Single
02. More content (good one Brent)
03. Busier
04. Senioritis
THREE things you got addicted to
01. Reading my bible (seriously)
02. posting on Purevolume.com's General Promo forums.
03. cleaning.
TWO good deeds you did
01. Spent five weeks being a counselor to 5th/6th Graders.
02. Let it go with maturity.
ONE resolution for next year:
01. Complain less- I have a great life.
and thank you all for being in it. All of you.
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| Karli and I broke up. We're still good friends and all, but she felt it
was time to move on and I, in most ways, agreed with her.
I say 'in most ways' because it still hurts- a lot. But I'll live...
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| It's always so exciting when plans start to go right.
Love it.
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